An Idea

As I see the world, I think, and think, and think over and over, until i come across an existential circumstance, which takes me out of my thought, but as soon as the circumstance fade away, i see the idea that lives inside me facing me again and wants to discuss. Talking to oneself is exhausting when you don't sleep much. I think i should get some sleep. But why do i think of the world this way when most of people don't, they just pretend to, and I can see it very clearly in  their simple faces. This is how the story begins, it doesn't have a beginning time, but it has a manner of beginning. The smell of anxiety is running throught my noise, eyes, and ears, the vision here is colorless and the silence is very loud

People, people did this to me, people did that to me, a common thought which comes often to you, however in most cases, you deal with it by taking revenge from the world in a certain way. This act is totally based on emotion, which will absolutely take a bad effect on your personality, and by bad I mean it will turn you into a weaker, immature person. Now where exactly is the problem ? As i see it, this situation is a result of ignorance, the ignorance of how to live with people. Furthermore, the moment you start to know how to live with yourself, you will develop the ability to live with others.

Love is great fortune, it is a process and not a limited duration or a mean to achieve goals, as i see it love is the goal and the process at the same time and with the same level of importance, but society does a terrible act against love wich is to minimize its value in the individual's life. The reason of this recent phenomenon, is clearly a weakness in people and a lack of courage to express feelings. I will give an example it's a simple one and probably you will feel offended, let's take for example you reading what i said earlier, and not respecting what you felt while reading, it means you are a weak person and you need to grow up your mind. Now for the people who respected their own feelings, you don't need an example, you are just fantastic. And for those who haven't felt a thing.

There are some very interesting similarities bewteen humans and animals. Weak people do cheap acts to disturbe strong people lives, but their acts don't have important impacts unless the weak ones work in groups against one strong man. For instance, dogs hate wolves, because wolves prefer to live and hunt alone, however dogs are the opposit, one dog can attack a wolf, and there will be no danger in this situation, but a group of dogs will try their best to take a wolf's food, or in another scenario, kill the wolf, still this doesn't change the fact that the wolf is strong and high-principled. Humans have conscience, they should get over animals behavior, and be noble and honest.

A different dimension, feelings are. They can change the aspects of the time and the space around you. The present becomes a chaos of thoughts, the past a prison, and the future dark, but in fact, we kind of prefer this mental state, even if it causes such pain, because it is safe, and we are afraid of facing ourselves. However, by the time of facing ourselves, we can actually feel much and much better. The whole situation depends on the moment of a decision whether to face oneself life, or to drown in the feelings.

The necessity of doing something useful always drives us beyond our limitations, because everytime you start an activity you ask yourself about the utility of it, and if you don't find what you were searching for you will constantly keep searching for the opportunity to abandon it and start another activity which you suppose beneficial. However, the problem is ; if you think this way you will never find what you are looking for, unless you establish a goal before starting any kind of activities, which will keep you oriented towards your goal, you will finally find the activity useful, you will actually benefit from it, and it will be a modest source of happiness, thus your personality will be improved, and you will surpass yourself and your limitations little by little.

Who am I, what am I doing here, what is the purpose of my life? As the piano sound sneaks into my ears, the existential questions I have get more and more complicated, perhaps I get obsessed with everything I interact with. I can smell the melancholy in the shadows of a light floating in the smoke of my cigarette, the glasse turns into a shining diamond, the wind is stoking my skin, and suddenly an empty mind or maybe a full one, but the words can’t express. Who am I? Now I am soul, a heavy one.